According to my mother, I was a precocious, disobedient girl with a mind of her own, not following the rules that were set in my family. My father, however, loved said preciousness and disobedience and supported my having a mind of my own. He drew the line at not following the rules, though.
I was never afraid to voice my likes and dislikes, nor was I afraid to show affection by hugging and kissing the people I loved. But my family could not make me kiss my paternal grandmother for the life of me – she was a witch who always gave me despicable, flannel-lined underpants with elastic leg openings in pink. I strongly disliked her, and she probably felt that this was my mother’s fault. It probably didn’t help that I picked up on my mother’s antipathy towards her mother-in-law. After all, mother had married the cherished and adored youngest son who had divorced his first wife to be free for my mother who was pregnant with me. As a strictly catholic family, divorce was a big no-no.
Growing up in a large extended family, I was part of a tribe of twelve aunts and uncles and numerous cousins on my father’s side and on my mother’s side were three aunts and uncles and their offspring and my grandparents. Family gatherings were frequent and noisy, and they served as information central where the latest family gossip was dished out and exchanged. I never got tired of eaves-dropping, but when caught, got sent to play outside. Oftentimes, during summer vacation, I was shipped off to an aunt or uncle to give my parents a break. Most of the times, I was extremely unhappy with their choice, but running away was not an option. Being among the youngest in the family, I always inherited hand-me-downs from my cousins.
As far as I remember, I had been an independent explorer who was not afraid to sneak through the gate and run up to our baker to ask for a sweet role. I went on excursions through the local park on the banks of the Rhine river watching the big ships pass by, trying to figure out why passengers arriving with the ferry from the opposite town would come here, and sneaking an ice cream at my grandmother’s ice-cream stand by the ferry landing. This didn’t endear me to my mother and the day usually ended with the dance of the bamboo rod on my tender back, courtesy of my father.
One would think punishments would have broken my spirit, but it grew stronger.
My preschool teacher reported to my mother that I was creative and sweet and did play well with all the other children. I loved making things, playing games, and celebrating the various holidays. I remember my mother having a hard time believing this. Things didn’t get easier with the arrival of my brother who was a darling child, obedient, quiet, loving, just adorable, the shining example held under my nose for improvement.
I loved to learn, it came easy to me. Early on I showed a knack for languages, especially English, Writing, and Math – not so much geometry or algebra, but logic and calculations. Singing and music education were the highlights of the week. I loved to play recorder, accordion, and piano, and I also lived for books which always were on the top of my holiday wish lists. Since I never had to struggle to understand subjects, I didn’t apply myself the way I could have, and was a mediocre student throughout my school years, much to my parents’ chagrin. That only changed many years later when I went to college.
Sports were a big part of being a child, gymnastics, badminton, volleyball, jump rope, hopscotch, and field and track. I spent most of my free time outdoors, engaged with our neighbors’ children, and we always came up with new games.
Reading this, I am surprised at the things I remember about my childhood and growing -up years in a small town on the Rhine river in Germany, among a large, extended family. I knew I belonged, was part of it, shared their blood – it makes me melancholic about the way we live today – individual family pods, sometimes connected, mostly detached from our larger family. It doesn’t help that here is a continent and an ocean between the country I grew up in and where I live now.
Hiking Poet 